Lifebook 2013 Radical Compassion/Radical Forgiveness
This Lifebook 2013 Lesson was one in which I was in need of (thank you Tamara LaPorte xoxox)
I think that most people chose a lesser issue to practice with and as a piece of public artwork. However, I had already done much of the internal work for this and was ready to move on and let it out!
Tam uses "Non-violent Communication" or "Compassionate Communication" in this lesson..... so, here goes the process
First comes Self-Empathy....
Observation- Cause of distress is failed marriage/relationship
I know all of the why's and how's of this.... spent the past two years on this so identifying the cause of my distress was the easy part.
My Feeling- hurt, betrayed, enraged, depressed, disappointed, exhausted, worn out, embarrassed, ashamed, hate, animosity
My Needs- understanding, shelter, love, connection, safety, stability, harmony, peace, honesty, authenticity, joy, communication, closeness, security, TRUST
My Requests- to take time for myself and to seek out and keep company with only genuine people who can meet my needs and not make me feel like this again.
Second comes Finding the Compassion to Forgive
I am wanting to forgive the person who made me feel this way- my former husband
He brought havoc and distress and terrible things into my life and my home after falsely leading me to believe otherwise.
I believe he was attempting to create a safe and normal place for himself but didn't take into consideration the reasons he needed this and used me and hurt me in the process.
I wish those things had not happened to him as a child and that he would have let me help him or would have sought more help as an adult.
I give him the gift of acceptance- of what has happened in the past and of the idea that it is ok to get help.
Last comes processing through theraputic art
See above pics
I think that most people chose a lesser issue to practice with and as a piece of public artwork. However, I had already done much of the internal work for this and was ready to move on and let it out!
Tam uses "Non-violent Communication" or "Compassionate Communication" in this lesson..... so, here goes the process
First comes Self-Empathy....
Observation- Cause of distress is failed marriage/relationship
I know all of the why's and how's of this.... spent the past two years on this so identifying the cause of my distress was the easy part.
My Feeling- hurt, betrayed, enraged, depressed, disappointed, exhausted, worn out, embarrassed, ashamed, hate, animosity
My Needs- understanding, shelter, love, connection, safety, stability, harmony, peace, honesty, authenticity, joy, communication, closeness, security, TRUST
My Requests- to take time for myself and to seek out and keep company with only genuine people who can meet my needs and not make me feel like this again.
Second comes Finding the Compassion to Forgive
I am wanting to forgive the person who made me feel this way- my former husband
He brought havoc and distress and terrible things into my life and my home after falsely leading me to believe otherwise.
I believe he was attempting to create a safe and normal place for himself but didn't take into consideration the reasons he needed this and used me and hurt me in the process.
I wish those things had not happened to him as a child and that he would have let me help him or would have sought more help as an adult.
I give him the gift of acceptance- of what has happened in the past and of the idea that it is ok to get help.
Last comes processing through theraputic art
See above pics
Comments
...Raine
I, too, wish "those things" hadn't happened to my abuser in her childhood. Your insight that maybe she was trying to create a safe place for herself is one that entered my heart. It explains the need for control over every aspect of everything and everybody, and I'm glad I'm out of her range. But I can see a benign reason for her abuse, and that's a start.