The following are things I discovered about myself yesterday during my therapy session. I had forgotten just how much these things impact me and are the root of my daily issues.
- I don't do well with change.
- I am still a perfectionist.
- I still have obsessive-compulsive disorder.
- I have major issues with uncertainty and the unknown.
- My memory REALLY sucks.
- All of these things cause great amounts of anxiety.
- I have little control over these things (OCD?) and I am going to figure out a way to take back control of my brain.
One issue I have for dealing with these things is that I have really bad memory problems. I have fibromyalgia and sleep disorder, both of which come with major memory issues. I have been working on my anxiety issues for years but, with memory issues, it is like the slate is wiped clean every so often and I forget what I've been working on and progress is lost. I even forget that these things are issues sometimes!
One way I plan to deal with the memory issue is to start an art journal project specifically for remembering the issues and how I am supposed to deal with them.
I have taken many online art and art journaling classes over the past few years. It is hard for me to remember what I have learned. Therefore, it is hard for me to incorporate these ideas into my pieces on a regular basis. I just can't remember the techniques I have learned to use them when I need them to art journal about an issue. I know I could have/ should have taken more notes. And, I did. I can't find them all in a messy studio :-) (I also have ADHD).
Yesterday, some things clicked for me. First, I went to therapy and we got to the bottom of my issues, as outlined above. I knew these were my issues, I had just forgotten. Second, I heard a story on NPR which dealt with memory loss and was very inspirational for me. The link is below. Third, I happened to notice on Julie Balzer's blog an art journaling project she did a few years ago and the words "Tell Your Story" stood out to me. The link is below. I also found a story on NPR about telling stories as a way to help with memory loss. The link is below.
"Tell Your Story"
"For Elders with Dementia, Musical Awakenings"
"Alzheimer's Patients Turn to Stories Instead of Memories"
Something hit me..... I need to start an art journal specifically for dealing with my issues in a therapeutic way- one that I can pull out and use to help me remember what I am dealing with and HOW to deal with it. I plan to post a list of links to helpful books, websites, and blogs in the next few days, as well as post my progress in my therapeutic art journal.